Before I Die: Story

I never expected it to go beyond my neighborhood. I created the first Before I Die wall in New Orleans after the death of someone I loved. Joan was like a mother to me for fifteen years and there were still so many things she wanted to do: learn to play the piano, live in France, see the Pacific Ocean. The shock of her death sent me into a long period of grief and depression. My inner world didn’t feel like it belonged outside at all, and I noticed how much we avoid talking about death.

With time, I felt gratitude for the time we had together and I found clarity in my life by contemplating death so much, but I struggled to maintain this perspective. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and forget what really matters to you.

I lived a block away from an abandoned house that had been collecting dust and graffiti for years. I wondered if I could make it a nicer space for my neighborhood and make a tribute to Joan by creating a space to restore perspective. I made a homemade stencil that said, “Before I die I want to _____.” With help from old and new friends, I painted the side of this crumbling house with chalkboard paint and stenciled it with this prompt so that anyone walking by could pick up a piece of chalk, reflect on death and life, and share their personal aspirations in public.

I didn’t know what to expect. Because it was cheap to make, I thought it was no big deal if it didn’t work out. The next day, the wall was filled and it kept growing.

The gamut of humanity was on display, and the wall became an honest mess of longing, fear, insecurity, gratitude, humor, pain, and grace. I saw I was not alone as I tried to make sense of my life, and the wall became an ice-breaker for conversations about death and emotional health. Seeing a private corner of your psyche reflected in someone else’s handwriting on a public wall can be incredibly reassuring on an individual level, and it’s a step towards seeing ourselves in one another.

Ten months later, the wall in New Orleans ended for happy reasons: a new owner bought the property and the house became a home again. But this wasn’t the end of the project—I received hundreds of messages from people around the world who wanted to make walls with their communities. I made a step-by-step guide, and today, thanks to passionate people around the world, over 5,000 Before I Die walls have been created in over 75 countries and over 35 languages.

It’s been one of the greatest experiences of my life to see this little experiment grow into a global project. From China to Iran, from Brazil to South Africa, I am continuously inspired by everyone’s walls, which have revealed just how much we share in common.