I just noticed this old flyer for a local parade celebrating the great combo that is Little Italy and Chinatown. Headshots at the bottom of the flyer announce appearances by Italian-American celebrities Tony “Paulie” Sirico from The Sopranos, Lou Christie from who-knows-what, Cristina Fontanelli from ditto, and that Chinese-American personality we know and love - “Lion.” Was Margaret Cho not available? Oh wait, crap, she’s Korean-American… Ummm how about B.D. Wong? Really? Lion?… Is that all we got?…

A drive on America’s highways is a drive through burgers and fries, and it’s easy to get fatter as you go farther. McDonald’s takes an impending marketing approach on this billboard I passed by during a recent road trip to Florida. Sooner or later… you’re gonna eat with us. We’re here, we’re there, we’re after there… you can’t get away, so why don’t you get it over with and stuff your face now.

At least NYC is taking a step in the right direction. The City Board of Health approved the regulation requiring restaurants with 15 or more outlets to display calorie amounts on their menus (effective March 31st). Some say this smacks of nanny-state policy. I say this smacks of empowering information that can do no wrong, unless knowing more ain’t right… Rah!

Walking along Bowery can be a bit on the gray side with all its big industrial appliance stores. But that all changes with Century Kitchen & Equipment’s sign at 216 Bowery. Come into our magical rainbow world of three-burner countertop ranges and stainless steel dough roller machines!

The doormat of apartment #3D in my building.

Maps of blond hair prevalence in Europe, a pitch-black North Korea at night, and leading religions in America by county are a few of the striking images on the Strange Maps blog. If you heart maps, you’ll heart this site.

Happy Chinese New Year! Yay for old Chinese people!

Rest in peace, you funky place you. At the end of my block on the corner of Broome and Mott there once was a restaurant named Funky Broome. Then it became Jazzy Wok. And lastly it was the Funky Thai Cafe. After each incarnation the decor got greener, purpler, and shimmerier, until it was a beast of funky that no mortal dared to enter. Its food: decent. Its location: great. And yet every time I walked past its panoramic windows there was nothing but a still life of heinous flower-painted tables and opal-cushioned chairs. Two people might be inside the po-mo fever dream on a busy night. They really tried their darndest, claiming “the best pad thai in town” (which wasn’t true but they had good pad see ew). And then came the “free tater tots” sign, which signaled the beginning of the end.

I always sighed a little “oh…” when walking past, rooting for it like the little engine that could. And then it finally dawned on me that I could help! I went in one day and in the nicest way suggested that they could really get more business if it wasn’t quite so purple and ugly inside. I would happily offer my design skills pro bono to turn this neighborhood joint into a bustling local favorite! For the public good! Alas, the woman said she wished I came earlier because the owner was so tired, so very tired, and he had already decided to sell it.

A few weeks later its doors were permanently shuttered, until one day last week when they held a public auction to sell all their kitchen riff raff and funkdefied decor. No one showed up for that either. Oh…